How to make 2021 your BEST year yet!
By: Brandon N. Baker
I have to say despite all of the chaos, drama, and khlafama of 2020 I had an AMAZING year! 2020 treated me very well. In fact, I learned more in the last 12 months than I did in all 12 years of public schooling!
I gained new wisdom every single day. And the more wisdom I acquired and PUT INTO PRACTICE the better my life got! And honestly it keeps getting better and better and even BETTER! So I thought it only fair that I share my secrets with you all. If you put on your listening ears and really take heed of what I'm about to tell you you will find your life to be barely recognizable by 2022.
Disclaimer: I don't know it all but I do know enough to put my wisdom into practice and trust me these tidbits of knowledge have served me WELL!
1. You are NOT the Victim!
I know this may be a lot to digest on the first Monday of 2021 but it needed to be said. You are responsible for your OWN life! You are in the predicaments you are in because of your own decisions— no one else’s. It is not your parents fault, your teachers, the stranger down the street, that ex that broke your heart, your siblings, your disability, white supremacy, Donald Trump, or even God's fault that you are where you are. I understand you can't help what may have happened to you in the past or what you came into this world with. However, you can help whether you take ownership of your own life or not.
So assume responsibility.
Remember you are NOT weak! You are invincible— literally until death! Meaning you have the power to turn this thing around and a whole lot of time to do so. Not to mention endless possibilities at your feet… so tap in Sis!
Once you assume responsibility for your life, your emotions, and your actions you can move forward into the process of creation. You cannot authentically create from a space of victimhood. If you want a life worth living you have got to empower yourself to take the lead instead of letting your old stories of fear lead you. You are not the same neanderthal you used to be.
You are much wiser, much stronger, more loving, more kind, and more of a badass! So you owe it to yourself to give your dreams a chance! You owe yourself a life of liberation.
2. Tune out the Noise
Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Do it… Now! This trick has literally TRANSFORMED my life! I am a naturally social person so unlike a lot of you complainers on twitter my phone is never dry. I have texts, zoom calls, facetime dates, and group chats out the ass. Which is great and I totally appreciate it but it can prove to be a major distraction.
I am the friend that shows up for everything and everybody but I had to learn that IF I WANT TO REALIZE THE LIFE I'VE ALWAYS IMAGINED I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHOW UP FOR MYSELF FIRST! For me showing up looks like focusing on what matters to Brandon. It's me granting myself the space to create and articulate my dreams. I go to sleep with my phone on do not disturb so that my sleep is not interrupted and I have more energy to take on the day. I start the day in meditation and prayer instead of responding to thread after thread. I create more deliberately because I am totally present within the process of editing, or writing, or shooting instead of getting caught up in time consuming convos.
Im not gonna lie… at first this will feel odd. And your FOMO will start acting up. You'll have withdrawals and want to reach for your phone but trust me you will get the hang of it and you will feel so much more peace because of it. You will become so focused that your phone will be a mere afterthought.
I promise you're not missing much. Unless your wife is about to give birth in which case you should just ignore this rule.
Now, If you already have kids (depending upon the ages and levels of maturity) you can find a way to impart this rule as well. Choose a few hours within the day when you know the kids are taken care of and turn your phone off. Or put it on, do not disturb and set a timer. Trust me the world will not cease to exist if you take a nap or focus on yourself for a change!
3. Cut the Chatter
This next rule definitely may not be easy but it’s a TOTAL game changer!
Stopppppp GOSSIPING AND MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
PERIODT!
Lol no but seriously! I understand it's what your mom did and her mom did and her momma did. I know you grew up in the South where your neighbors business served as the 5 o'clock news. Or in boring privileged circles where Gossip proved to be small talk & idle chatter. I get that it’s easier to look at what someone else is doing wrong rather than to examine your own shit but trust me gossiping is NOT the way to go.
It's a Big time waster not to mention it puts you in a low vibration of energy. Now some of you may say: “what if the person is driving you crazy but you don't want to hurt their feelings?” Well to that I say:
“either build up the courage to say what's on your heart in a compassionate way OR set up the necessary boundaries and they will have to comply regardless.”
We often get so upset by how people “mistreat” us when in reality we are the ones who attracted and allowed the mistreatment. Something within us is attracted to the drama, the abuse, the neglect, the narcissistic behaviors so we allow them to continue and we let other people deprive us of our joy and steal our power without them even knowing it.
Again this goes back to assuming responsibility for your own life! People are people and there will always be another person on the planet that you may not mesh with or that might annoy you. Nevertheless, gossiping is never the answer. Not to mention it always comes back to bite you in the ass.
“Therefore, if you don't have anything nice to say go read a book…...!”
B. (Be Impeccable with your words)
I hate to do this to yall but hey it's 2021…. Were leveling up people! And if you really want to uplevel your life this year I suggest you also start monitoring your language. I'm not saying you gotta stop cursing. What I am saying is that you should learn to be impeccable with your words sorta like Don Miguel Ruiz. If you're not familiar with Ruiz he wrote a phenomenal book called the 4 agreements that shifted the nation's consciousness. In his chapter, be impeccable with your words, he discusses the power of language and how our thoughts and words in turn create our life. Meaning, that if you want to have a stellar life you must cultivate your use of language. As in speaking power over yourself and others, claiming victory instead of defeat, and using words that lift your vibration. We all know those word dumpers that are so negative that the second you have a conversation with them you have to go mediate or take a nap.
I get it…we can all be a negative Nancy from time to time….
but NO ONE likes a Negative Nancy, Pessimistic Patty, Angry Al, Projecting Patrick, Judgmental Jacob, Narcissistic Nathan, Burdensome Betty, Gossiping Gertrude, Miserable Mildred, Stressful Sally, Complaining Cam, or Malicious Matt.
So if you wanna keep your friends or gain any new relationships in this lifetime I suggest you start looking at the ways in which you use language.
Take a few days to just observe how you speak to yourself… how you speak to others…
What is the intention behind the words you say?
And is that intention being felt by you or the people you love?
If not then it's time you tried something new…..
They say that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks so if your words are not filled with love you might want to start examining how you can more adequately “love on yourself” and your community. And remember you're not a bad person you're just expanding, evolving, and gaining new wisdom. So be patient with yourself…. You are doing just fine. Continue to take it one day at a time. Moment by moment if you have to. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day so your transformation won't be instantaneous but the fact that you are working and willing to change is what will make all the difference. The universe always applauds genuine effort!
4. Love Yourself. Forgive Yourself. Be Yourself.
Last but certainly not least: LOVE YOURSELF , FORGIVE YOURSELF, AND BE YOURSELF!
This is one of my newest mantras! It literally came to me one day as I was lounging my life away in Mexico (The Best Ideas come when you're in a state of relaxation). I happened to be in the pool sipping Pina Coladas with my friends and I felt so at peace and so much bliss that the words just came to me. “Love yourself, Forgive yourself, and Be yourself,” just stumbled off my tongue. And in that moment I knew I had found my new mantra. Now I keep these words on rotation to remind me that I don't have to take life or myself so seriously…. That I can leave the past in the past and enjoy the present for the glorious event that it is.
I can let myself BE HERE on this magnificent planet and explore and grow and figure out life as I go. I have endless grace for myself so I have endless grace for others.
I pour love into myself more and more each day so that I can more adequately love my family, my friends, my community, and consequently the world!
I suggest you let go of all of the drama and Khlafama of last year and make the conscious decision to choose peace over chaos in 2021. Put these tools into action and I promise you won’t regret it!
I can’t wait to see how each of you levels up this year!